Sleeping is Such a Waste of Time

I haven't used an alarm clock in at least 15 years. Unless I am getting on an early plane. Then I set three clocks and still wake up every hour. I probably should just stay up.

It's not that I have any real trouble sleeping. But I usually wake up about 5:30 a.m. Then my brain starts to run, and I lay there thinking about things I could be doing, lots of things I'd like to be doing. Sometimes I'll stay there and try to go back to sleep but most of the time I get up. It's my favorite time of the day. If the weather is right, I'll sit on the deck with my coffee and the dogs. Or I'll read.

Even as a teenager I don't remember sleeping late. Lots of nights when I wake up, I'll turn on my light and read for a little while until I feel sleepy again. Those mornings when I let myself go back to sleep and then wake up after 7:00 a.m., my first thought is What a waste of time.

Things That Go Bump in the Night

One of the bloggers who I read regularly wrote recently about watching the movie Black Swan and then going to bed. I haven't seen the movie, and probably won't, but I've heard it's pretty creepy. I don't care for scary movies much. I prefer to be entertained not scared.

Debby told about hearing weird noises in the house after going to bed that night. Her husband apparently sent her downstairs to find out what it was. He probably didn't hear it and figured she could ruin her night's sleep rather than his. She said the noise lasted for 20 minutes and she never found out what it was.

Regarding things that go bump in the night, Paul is just about deaf in his left ear. I learned that on our first date when we sat at the bar in a noisy restaurant waiting for our table. As we chatted I had the feeling he couldn't hear me but didn't find out for sure until later.

It's the result of shooting without ear protection. Usually when you are right-handed when you shoot a shot gun or a rifle, you use your right eye to sight on the target and you tuck your right ear into your shoulder. Your left ear is exposed to the percussion of the gun. Sounds like I know what I'm talking about. Living with a shooter/hunter for 25 years you learn these things.

He told me by the time you realize you've damaged your ear, you're saying a lot of "Huh? What?" and it's too late. So I learned early that if I want him to hear me, I should be on his right side. If I want to mumble things about him, I should be on his left.

So what ear do you think he puts to the pillow at night? The good one. Consequently he hears just about nothing. I, on the other hand, wake up when a mouse farts in the attic.

And we do have mice in the attic. And they dance above my head at night. I think they are doing the rumba.

Paul did wake up one night to find me standing on the bed pounding my fist on the wall above the bed trying to scare the mice away. I don't think they ran away. I think they just held still until I laid back down. Then they started again.

We don't have a small house. Why do they feel they have to dance in the corner of the attic above my side of the bed? Why can't they dance over the spare bedroom?

Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go

It's well before 6 a.m. and here I am. Up. The dogs aren't even awake. The only sounds I hear are the birds, which is nice, and the noise of my keyboard. I'd like to say the milkman woke me but he didn't. I was awake before he came this morning. (Yes, we have a milkman. He even delivers our milk in glass bottles. I know. How very 1950's.)

What I wouldn't give to be able to waste a few hours away in the morning sleeping late. I saw a newspaper article about organizing your life starting with the morning. It went something like this: When your alarm clock goes off, do you hit the snooze button and sleep another 10 minutes? When it goes off again, do you hit it again for another 10 minutes? Do you hit it again 10 minutes later? When it goes off again do you jump up in a panic realizing you only have 20 minutes to get out the door?

Oh I wish. I would love to sleep late, to laze in bed until 10 or 11. But I can't. I haven't set an alarm clock in at least 15 years. That is unless I have an early morning plane to catch and then I set two and wake hourly because I'm sure I have set them wrong, overslept and missed the plane. On those nights I probably shouldn't even go to bed.

Otherwise, I never set an alarm clock. No matter what time I go to bed or in what condition, I wake up at 5 o'clock. It's a curse. As soon as I become conscious, my mind starts to go. As hard as I try to distract myself, to clear my mind, I can't go back to sleep. Most mornings I give up after 30 minutes and get up.

The only good thing is that during that first half hour when I'm still in bed, I think I write my best stuff and come up with most of the topics for blog posts. Or at least that's when my creative juices seem to flow more easily. But oh how I would love to go back to sleep and wake to find it's 9 o'clock. Never happens. I suppose now it's because I'm old or going through menopause but that wasn't so 15 years ago.

Paul laughs at me because if I lay down on the couch in the evening to watch television, I fall asleep. It doesn't matter if it's the most fascinating program I have ever seen; turn on the TV and Sandy is asleep. But I've been up since 5 a.m., I'm tired! Fortunately I seldom have trouble falling asleep, just staying that way.

Last night was particularly short because I was up until nearly midnight. Four-thirty this morning I was looking at the clock, thinking Oh gawd, not already!

This afternoon I have a company lunch to go to. I received an invitation to a Top Producer Luncheon with the president and CFO. I think I better find some cucumber slices to put on these eyes so I don't look like something the cat dragged in. Falling asleep in my salad wouldn't look right either. Or maybe I could just go back to bed and try to sleep. Nah, where's that cucumber?