Will You Still Need Me, Will You Still Feed Me?

Today is Paul's birthday! Isn't he handsome? I think he is, and I probably don't tell him often enough. And I don't tell him often enough how much I love him and how glad I am that we are together and what a great life I think we have.

Paul is an honest, hardworking man. A very experienced outdoorsman who has literally hunted from Africa to the Artic Circle, he is also a man who appreciates his home. He was a good son to his mother which I think is an indication of how a man will treat a wife. An extremely serious man, he's not always the easiest person to live with but I'm no box of chocolates to live with either so I guess we've found a balance in there somewhere. Never demanding, I could feed him a cheese sandwich for dinner and he wouldn't complain.

My husband is a rather unique person in this day and age. He says he was born about 200 years too late and he's probably right. He's not exactly a 21st century man but in most ways I think that's a good thing. He has rather old-fashioned values and can seem pretty crusty on the outside but I can tell you he can be very soft on the inside.

Like most fathers, he loves his children dearly but maybe they didn't always think so because he could be tough on them. I think that was his way of teaching them to be individuals and to stand on their own. He's done a good job of that, they are both amazing and successful people. He's a wonderful grandfather to our five grandchildren. They adore him; can't get enough of him.

Tammy has asked how Paul and I met and suggested I blog about it....it is a rather nice story, a love story of sorts....and Tammy says everyone likes a love story so I guess today would be a good day to tell. Hang in here with me, it's long.

I have known Paul for 37 years! Amazing to realize that. When I was a junior in high school I had an afternoon job in the office of a paper company filing, preparing mailings, answering phones, etc. A few months into the job I remember when Frank, one of the warehouse men brought his son in to the office to introduce him when he began working there. You guessed it, the son was Paul. When I tell you I remember that day, remember where he stood in the office when he said hello to everyone, I am not kidding.

Paul started out working in the warehouse and by the first summer was working the inside sales desk. That summer I worked full-time so we were in fairly close proximity.

Was he a flirt!! Okay, full disclosure here....I'm was a 16-year-old kid with a steady boyfriend and Paul was a 27-year-old married man with two kids, ages 7 & 9 (hi, Pam). Don't be jumping to conclusions yet; nothing went on. BUT every Friday afternoon Paul would say "What are you doing tonight, Sandy, what time should I pick you up?" Of course, he wasn't serious, he just liked to make me giggle and blush.....both of which I did really well.

So we worked together for several months, until I graduated and started college. I don't remember too many specific conversations but I remember that Paul was the first man who talked to me like an adult even though I wasn't quite. The age difference was huge at that point but we still had things to talk about. I guess I must have talked about Paul at home because my father was not pleased that a man so many years older was paying attention to me.

I graduated, left Central Paper, married my high school sweetheart and started my life. But sometime down the road I called Central Paper to see about buying some special envelopes for the company I was working for. Guess who was still working there and now an outside sales rep? If I tell you that this was all coincidence, will you believe me? Don't, it wasn't.

So Paul made a sales call to my office and guess what? He'd never forgotten about me either. When I was in high school I collected business cards (I know, dork) and he knew it then. In the ensuing years....he had kept a file card box of business cards he collected along the way for me! Be still, my heart.

So I bought 1500 envelopes I didn't need and he made regular sales calls for a while to say hello. Also in the ensuing years he had divorced. So now I'm married and he's single. Still the age difference but less of an issue now. So still just flirting and nothing more. I was married.

Fast forward a few more years (I know this is long) and my marriage came to an end. One day on a lunch break I was walking downtown and who is coming toward me? I recognized him immediately but didn't expect he would know me. It had been 9 years since we last saw each other.

As he got along side me I said Paul......and he claims he said my name, too, but I still don't think he knew it was me. We stopped and chatted. So, there we are 14 years later and no one is married. He asked me out right on the spot. I said no....but gave him my telephone number. He called me two days later, we went out that Friday and the rest, as they say, is history!

We bought a house together about 6 months later. We talked about getting married but I said no. I knew I was there for the duration but just didn't ever want to go through another divorce and the only way to ensure that was to never marry.

Six months after moving into our house, we did get married. His daughter was engaged and I thought I might be more comfortable being more than Dad's Girlfriend, so we set a date. In the meantime, Pam postponed her wedding. We got married anyway and then Pam and Geoff were married a few months later. I was right, it was so much nicer being the bride's stepmother rather than Dad's live-in girlfriend.

So here we are, 22 years later and I can't imagine another life. With Paul came two talented, loving children, Pam & Paul, Jr., the 7- & 9-year olds I'd heard about years earlier. They both married good people from nice families and now we have five fabulous grandchildren to whom I am 'Grama Sandy.' A family I would never have had without Paul.

As Pam said in her Father's Day post, Paul is someone who lives life to the fullest, and I am so happy to be part of that. So if he asks "will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I'm 64," my answer is YES! Happy Birthday, Darling.