Sunday, January 24, 2010

Don't Make Me Hurt the Pie

In October 1987 I made a Key Lime Pie. Then I took the pie for a ride. It spent the night in the car and in the morning, with a satisfied little smile, I turned the uncut pie over and with a snap dropped it from the pie plate into the trashcan in the garage. There! That'll show him!

I remember the date because I remember the report of a California earthquake was on television. I know there was another, larger quake in October 1989 but I'm pretty certain this was 1987. My mind and memory work like that sometimes. But I digress.

Paul's absolute favorite dessert is pie. I'm not sure he ever met a dessert he didn't like but pie is the favorite. And I think key lime is pretty close to the top. So with much love and care that particular day I made a key lime pie. He was impressed when it came out of the oven and sat cooling on the rack.

Then the fight started. About what? Who knows! Not a clue. I was mad enough though that I grabbed my keys and headed for the car. I got into the car and thought..."oh no, I'm not leaving the pie for him to enjoy while I'm mad." Back into the house, I took the pie out to the car and left.

I drove around aimlessly for a little while but wasn't ready to go home yet so I stopped to see friends. After watching the reports of the quake for a while, I went home. No resolution to the argument, just silence which the next day slowly went away.

Still feeling like I had to make some statement, in the morning I went out to the garage, grabbed the pie and WHAM into the trash. With a smug little smile I went back into the house, washed the pie plate and put it away. It was as if the pie never existed.

Of course the fight was over nothing, aren't most? A day or two later.......

Paul: "Whatever happened to the key lime pie?"
Me: "I threw it away"
Paul: "That was clever"
Me: "I thought so"

I didn't make another key lime pie for nearly 20 years. I really don't bake that often which was why the first pie was such a momentous occasion.

Yesterday at the grocery store in the 'slightly used' produce section as my mother calls it, they had apples. Eight to a package, in great shape, they were only $1.50. I bought some and a Pillsbury Pie Crust. Once again, thinking he would be surprised and pleased, I lovingly made a pie.

Paul came in later, tired and a little cranky, after cutting down a tree for next winter's firewood. After a couple cross words, I said "Don't give me any crap or the pie goes for a ride."

53 comments:

mama-face said...

I will never think about pie the same way again. It's always sad to see good pie go to waste though. :)

Anita said...

Too funny.............maybe ya'll just need to get your pie making and eating mojo working together...LOL!

Notes From the Grove said...

LOL! So funny. And totally something I would do. "I'm pissed, he will NOT enjoy that pie I just slaved over!" LOL!

We are truly redheads, aren't we?

Laoch of Chicago said...

Key lime pie!!!!

Allyson said...

What I love is that you go all mafia with the pie...like "give me lip and the pie gets it!!" I'm totally stealing that but using it for no-bake oatmeal cookies. Although something tells me that if they were left to freeze in the car overnight, they would just be...better. But a man who digs no-bake cookies out of the trash is bound to end up on a blog somewhere.
Now, about this "slightly used vegetable section"...do they have one for wine??

WhisperingWriter said...

Haha!

Pie rocks.

AmericanTribal said...

Stopping by from SITS :)

This is a great post! My husband makes a meeeeean key lime pie... I *love* it. I'm pretty sure, after reading this, that I will never argue with him as he's baking :P

Emily said...

The perfect revenge!

Badass Geek said...

I'm a big fan of pie, too, and yeah... I'd behave if it meant the safety of a pie.

Little Ms Blogger said...

My husband is a HUGE pie fan and would be devastated if I did that.


But, ya know I would if I were mad enough.

Pam said...

Katie told me you make a pie and that she helped Grandpa Duck cut down a tree. She didn't tell me that the pie was on death row. LOL!

Melissa Miller said...

Sandy how funny! You all are just too sweet for words. I hope he got to enjoy the apple pie this time. He!

Thanks for catching up on my recent posts. You are so kind to do so. *Smiles*

Elle @ A for Effort said...

This is a GREAT post! Too funny. Perhaps your husband will learn that when a pie is made, he is to be agreeable and pleasant. Doesn't it take three tries before something becomes a habit? (Or something like that)

Together We Save said...

That man needs to learn a good pie should never go to waste!!

Live.Love.Eat said...

Oh that's hysterical. I am surprised he didn't get it in the face.

Just Playin' said...

Great writing! Great piece! The pie that took a ride will always be part of your history....we all have those...but this one is just too funny!

Just Breathe said...

That's a great story. Boy I could tell you a few!

K said...

I hope the apple pie turned out well!

And I probably would have eaten the whole key lime pie myself, but I definitely wouldn't have shared either.

Kristin said...

Didn't he learn his lesson the first time? Ah ha ha

Shell said...

HAHA! Isn't it funny how no matter how long it's been, those moments (good or bad!) still unite the two of you instantly? I bet that made him smile, even if hesitantly. :)

Mary said...

I'm here for your SITS Day but couldn't help but to read this post too. How funny. I love the closing line!!

Gigi said...

Stopping by from sits. Congrats. Too bad about the pie.
Great blog.

Megan said...

This post is so well written!
My grammy was family renowned for her apple pie, and my entire life always brought it to family gatherings but I recently discovered that when first married my grandfather had said her pie wasn't as good as his mom's, so she never made the pie for him again - we only have it today because her kids would ask for it!

carissajaded said...

HAHA what a great post.. and I'm a little hungry now. Stopping by from SITS and happy SITS day and happy birthday!!! I hope it is a wonderful one!!!

InspiredDreamer said...

LOL that's an awesome post. Sounds like something that should be one of those imfamous family stories. Maybe it will be. :)

alessandra said...

Hahaha, pies, great tools to manage a marriage!

Maxie Gregg said...

Ooh! I bet that cuts short a whole lotta' attitude! I will remember it!

nicole said...

stopping in from SITS land-

LOVE the last line! Sounds like a bad corelone movie!

am assuming he got with the program and the pie stayed home???

LOL

Treasia Stepp said...

I came over from SITS and am so glad I did. I loved this story and it brought a tear to my eyes from laughter. That is just too good. I'll think of this story everytime I bake a pie now.

Stephanie said...

....dropping in from SITS to read one of the funniest stories I've ever read! I actually bake alot so the next time my hubby and I get in a fight, I'll defninitely throw away whatever concoction I just made. That'll hit him where it hurts! lol

samsstuff said...

Happy SITS feature day!
I was going to look at one of the posts you highlighted, but then I saw "Don't Make Me Hurt the Pie" & I had to read it! Too funny! Sounds a bit like my husband & I.
Now, I'm off to check out some of the other posts.

lifewithsweetpeaches said...

Too funny! I could totally see myself doing something like that. The best part was his complete acceptance of what had happened to the pie.

Stopping by from SITS. I'm off to check out your favorite three posts!

glenna said...

Yeah...I can relate to that. LOL

K a b l o o e y said...

Ha! This was a great introduction to your blog. Happy Birthday to boot. Over from SITS and poking around. Loved "...or the pie goes for a ride" and could see myself using it as a catch-all "don't screw with me" phrase around the house. Maybe all of the SITSstahood could popularize it?

Christi said...

Stopped by from SITS and reading your post about the pie has cracked me up! Thanks for sharing!

Shana said...

You threw out the pie...that is the most fabulous thing I have ever heard!!! It's just so perfect and awesome. Good job!

Nikki said...

Hilarious! Sometimes punishing your husband is totally worth missing out on pie!

J. L. W. said...

What a funny story and what a great comeback to your husband about his being cranky and you threatening to toss the pie! I love it. It's so funny about the little things that stay with us as time goes on.

Blissed-Out Grandma said...

I love your story. And I love that after all these years, the line tells him exactly what you need him to know! We have a few like that, too.

Larissa said...

Stopping by from SITS, this is so funny! I don't bake ANYTHING but I might make "don't give me any crap or the pie goes for a ride" one of my new threats, it's so funny!

RainSplats said...

pie, huh? ...that might work...

TheEclecticElement said...

HAHA! That story right there just made my day-I'll have to think of something clever like that to do to someone so that I can use it again in the future :)

Alice said...

Love it! You show him who's the keeper of the pie! =] Just stopping by from your SITS sister.

Seizing My Day said...

I hope you are laughing about that comment yourself! I certainly am! ;) Thanks for sharing! I am stopping by from SITS... I am about to join.. my blogging journey just began this month! Wish me luck!
Jenn~ PS... Happy Birthday!!

kimberly said...

This is hilarious....something I would so totally do! Sometimes it takes drastic measures for them to get the hint!

bettyl said...

What a great story! I bet we're related!!

sanz360 said...

hey... that was indeed funny! poor lime pie though... had to suffer for no fault of his... really enjoyed your blog so blogrolling you :)

~Sanz
http://sanz360.wordpress.com/

Eva Gallant said...

That is so funny--sounds like me, except I would have eaten the pie!

mooneyequalsmc2 said...

ahaha great story. I know I can hold a grudge for about 20 years too...but no grudge is ever big enough to avoid PIE! ha.

(you were above me on SITS...but how fortuitous that you were...the last two Saturdays, on Sharefest, the person above me to comment on ended up being someone I add to my feed reader! Going to go read some more!)

Pleased to "meet" you!

Mindy

injaynesworld said...

That's hysterical. And you didn't bake another for 20 years... I hope he behaved himself with this latest one.

Stopping by from Best Posts of the Week. Got any pie? ;)

Jayne

LadyFi said...

Behave.. or the pie gets it! Very funny.

Louise said...

That's a very funny gag! Did he get it?

hummer said...

I can see how this was a best post of the week. How funny. Baking a pie is always a special event. Thanks for sharing your funny moment.

 

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